The Widows' Cooking Club

  When you see a rainbow, do you think of a loved one who is sending you a message?   I always think that Bruce is sending me his blessings and telling me that things will be alright and to keep on living!   I have photos of the two most recent rainbows over the river, including a rare winter rainbow in the middle of February, a Valentine’s message from Bruce!   And the other rainbow was so perfectly reflected over the river  this fall! Thanks to a little help from my friends, I can keep on living the good life!   I treasure my friendships more than ever!   If it weren’t for friends, I’d be a very lonely person!   I am so blessed that every friend I have checks in on me and comes up with ideas for things to do together.   The older I get the more I realize that experiences and the memories they generate are so much more precious than material goods.   If I had $1000 to spend on items I could purchase or spend the $1000 on a trip that w...

  January 21st would have been Bruce’s 81 st birthday.   And on January 2 nd , we would have celebrated our wedding anniversary.   So, the special dates that trigger sentimental thoughts have been coming hard and fast with the holidays just past.  That means that I’ve had an extra dose of missing my guy! What I have discovered since Bruce has been gone is that I barely recognized the daily joy in my relationship with Bruce when we were together.  Now I know that he surrounded me with a blanket of love and admiration every day we were together.   I miss that very much. Yes, my family and friends all do love and support me, but there is something special about the comfort you fall into with a long-time companion, if you are lucky, as I was.   So, I strive to cook up contentment every day.   I sprinkle in moments of joy in the present, seasoned with fond memories of the past.   One of the best ways to bring small pleasures into my life is wit...

  Everyone dreads it. It is a struggle at first.   The loved one is missing from the holiday dinner table, the chair next to the Christmas tree is empty and holiday traditions are bittersweet.   But I know it is important to stay upbeat.   Friends and family members try so hard to keep me company and create a cheerful atmosphere. I try hard too.   It might feel like a pretend smile, but after a while, it becomes a real smile. It helps to live in the moment, but not ignore the past, conjuring up fond memories. My husband loved to see the newly decorated Christmas tree and would bring his evening glass of Jack Daniels to sit in the living room just to enjoy the lights, balsam fir scent and the sentimental ornaments collected over the years (lots of black and yellow labs for one…). I’d light a fire in the fireplace to make it perfect.   A live Christmas tree is an important tradition for me, so I continue on.   I simply love Christmas and this year, her...

  I hope you’ve been able do all three of these things this holiday season. It has been a remarkable year and I am thankful that I’ve survived and thrived with the help and companionship of friends and family.   I am nothing short of astounded at how many people, busy with work and their own lives, still make time to check in on me, or give me a hand with things I cannot do without assistance.   The carpenter who built our home 12 years ago spent time here last weekend, to change out my water filter and repair a closet shelf.   Other friends sometimes call or stop by to ask if I need anything.   For this I am very grateful. To elaborate on sharing…   It was a joy to volunteer for a recent community turkey dinner fundraiser and share the work with many other wonderful folks.   We served 120 turkey dinners on a Saturday afternoon, and gave meals away to anyone who was in need.   Recently I also had the unique joy of sharing the experience of...

  “I just lost my husband”… This is the phrase I said time and time again when I was notifying various companies and organizations to cancel my husband’s accounts after he died.   Every time I said that phrase, my mind filled in the rest of what I wanted to say, which was… “Actually, I did not lose my husband.   I know exactly where he is.   He is at the Maine Veteran’s Cemetery in Augusta, section G, row 6, plot 9.”   Saying that I lost him sounds more like losing my car keys.   As if I can find him if I keep looking.   And I did not lose my husband, really.   I had him with me for thirty years and still have all the memories for which I am very grateful. It is rather overwhelming when you realize how many notifications you will need to send out to close out so many things!   Think about it!   Car insurance and registration, every credit card, retirement accounts with past employers, investment accounts, and I could go on.   ...

  When I first became a widow, just over a year ago, I felt lost, trying to navigate a new existence without my companion of thirty years. Feeling alone with my thoughts and finding that I had a hard time overcoming my loneliness, I decided to start a journal about my journey and the process of learning how to stabilize my life in this new dimension. I also love cooking, creating and trying new recipes. I have had a long-time ambition to write a cookbook or food column. So, with this blog, I will combine thoughts of widowhood with tidbits about food: focusing on Maine-centric food, learning to cook for one, comfort food, and favorite dishes from years past. First of all, I don't want to make this a sad and depressing reading experience.  I will refer to sad events now and then, but want to move on to life-affirming thoughts.  Bruce died during the first summer of the pandemic in 2020.  I was relived to be able to opt out of “visiting hours” due to Covid-19 restrict...