Sad Anniversaries, Happy Memories and a Summer Pasta Dish
I just made it through two of those sad dates: it was two years ago, July 19th that Bruce passed away, and two years ago August 6th was the date of his military grave-side funeral service. I have been contemplating what has changed since a year ago, the first anniversary of these dates. I feel that it was a bit easier this year. It’s hard to explain how it’s different, maybe just a bit less acute emotionally.
My advice to
myself and others who must cope with the loss of a loved one is, don’t try to
pretend the date doesn’t matter. If you
do, you’ll find that the significance will creep up on you when you least
expect it, triggered by something that might be mundane but loaded with
sentimental meaning. Don’t fight the
feeling of grief, and don’t suppress it.
It’s O.K. to let it flow, including the tears. I shed the first tears in a long time today,
when my smart phone “shared” memories of past photos from this date three years
ago. The image that came up was one of
Bruce, sitting in an armchair, covered with a blanket, dog on the ottoman
beside him and he looked so old, and so weak.
It was a year before his final illness.
The happy memories sustain me, and come back to me with increasing ease as time goes by. All of my friends mention Bruce and we reminisce by retelling the funny stories about him. Less often now, but too often when I was just getting used to being a widow, someone would ask me how I was doing. Occasionally, I would drop the tough Yankee façade and be frank about how I felt at the time: “sad and lonely”. But when I did that, the person would more often than not, tell me to think of the happy memories. I’d love to think only happy thoughts! Although a kind intention, that was not helpful to me. I only spoke my true feelings to people I trusted to know me well. Just listening is fine but acknowledging that sadness has its place in life can be a great comfort. I hope this helps those who are dealing with a grieving person. And now on to the pleasant thoughts! This recipe was one of Bruce's favorites and can only be made in the summer due to the ingredients!
Room temperature pasta with lobster
It’s the
height of summer in Maine and I have been awaiting the arrival of ripe, deep
red, farmstand tomatoes for a long time!
Now that they are in abundance, I use them for my very favorite summer
recipe. To, me, this is the essence of
summer! This is a room temperature pasta
sauce. It’s perfect for those hot days when cooking is not appealing. To make
this dish really special, I top it with either buratta or the meat of one
cooked lobster.
A note on
buratta: If you have not tried this, it
is a wonderfully rich Italian soft cheese, basically a pouch of mozzarella
stuffed with ricotta like filling made with cream. “Burrata” means buttery in Italian, and it is
delicious on a salad. It is sold in the fresh cheese counter at most
markets. Usually it comes with two balls
to a package, packed in a brine. Some artisanal cheese shops may even have
burrata with a flavored filling. I have
seen truffle filled burrata.
Cut each
burrata in half to serve, and make sure you place on top of the pasta with the
mozzarella side down, with the soft cheese on top, like a bowl. Garnish with a dots of pesto and Aleppo
pepper or paprika for color.
Room temperature pasta with burrata
Room Temperature Pasta with Fresh
Tomatoes
3 servings
1 lb. fresh, ripe tomatoes, coarsely chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
1 chopped clove of garlic
2 tablesp. sherry vinegar
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
2 oz. of capers
Fresh pepper
Mix all ingredients, leave at room temperature for 2-4
hours
1/2 lb. thin spaghetti or angel hair pasta
Cook and drain pasta.
Place pasta in individual serving bowl, and spoon sauce over the
top. Serve with grated parmesan or
romano cheese and red pepper flakes for those who “like it hot”. Chill the leftover pasta sauce and you’ll
find it works just as well the next day!
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