The Widows' Cooking Club

  I am sharing a shrimp recipe, so this blog title is fitting.   But what I really want to share is the story of the slow transformation I’ve been going through, from being a cloistered hermit to a careful but elated extrovert.   I’ve always been a social creature, but the pandemic put an end to that for all of us for a while.   I became a widow at the peak of the pandemic during the first summer, with no vaccines and significant restrictions on travel and social gatherings.   I was experiencing the solitude of living alone and missing my companion, compounded by the isolation I endured and a visceral fear of the virus. It was a shock to discover that I had turned into an introvert over time, a willing prisoner! I had to convince myself to go out and do things.   I felt like turning down all invitations and just staying home.   It’s so easy to be trapped!    My inner voice said: “Stay home and do nothing!”   I am sure that many people ...

  I just made it through two of those sad dates:   it was two years ago, July 19 th that Bruce passed away, and two years ago August 6 th  was the date of his military grave-side funeral service.   I have been contemplating what has changed since a year ago, the first anniversary of these dates.   I feel that it was a bit easier this year.   It’s hard to explain how it’s different, maybe just a bit less acute emotionally.   My advice to myself and others who must cope with the loss of a loved one is, don’t try to pretend the date doesn’t matter.   If you do, you’ll find that the significance will creep up on you when you least expect it, triggered by something that might be mundane but loaded with sentimental meaning.   Don’t fight the feeling of grief, and don’t suppress it.   It’s O.K. to let it flow, including the tears.   I shed the first tears in a long time today, when my smart phone “shared” memories of past photos from th...

                                          So I seem to have disappeared from the blogger world altogether!   I haven’t posted an entry since April.   What happened?   Well, you can put it down to the giddy joy that comes with the long-awaited warm weather in Maine!   May can be a show-stopper with everything starting to blossom, and days that just demand that you sit on the porch and watch the water.   And then, my boat went in the water before Memorial Day.   Whenever the forecast is favorable for calm seas and gentle breezes I take the boat out for a lunchtime cruise, pack a sandwich and a cold beer!   The bottom line is that spending time in front of a computer is not as appealing these days.   Add to that a much-welcomed extended visit from a family member and the blog fell by the wayside.   I’ll probably post less frequently during th...

  My grandmother, “Nana” had an April birthday so this month’s blog entry is in honor of her. Did you have someone in your life as a child or youngster who fostered your devotion to a particular interest, skill or hobby?   For me that person was my Nana, my maternal grandmother.   By the time I was born she was living beside my parents in a multi-family home.   So I had the pleasure of her companionship every day.   She was born in Eastport, Maine in 1898, one of seven children, five girls and two boys, a poor, hard scabble family.   She learned to cook from her mother, on a woodstove in their drafty kitchen, fetching wood from the woodpile and water from the well.   She inspired me to love cooking because she did it so well and she was a great storyteller.   For every recipe she had a fascinating story, like getting stung by bees while gathering blueberries for a pie when she was little.    My earliest memory of her showing me how to ...

  I usually include enticingly beautiful photos of the Maine Coast in my blog entries.   But just to prevent readers from getting too serious a case of “Maine envy”, this photo shows what it really is like to live in Northern New England in March, a.k.a. Mud Season!   I live on this dirt road with a few other hardy home owners.   Those without four-wheel-drive better stay home this time of year!   The pot holes are pools and the ruts are canals!   The road will look like this for about a month!   The timing of this spring phenomenon is such that it serves to depress Mainers, who’ve just about had it with winter, have seen a few glimmers of spring-like weather, only to be stuck in the mud for a few more weeks.   Those nice walks in the woods?   Forget about it, the trails are extremely wet and muddy!   The subtitle for the blog entry might be: “Making and Taking Sides” !   In the “slice of life” segment of my blog, I’ll be talk...

  When you see a rainbow, do you think of a loved one who is sending you a message?   I always think that Bruce is sending me his blessings and telling me that things will be alright and to keep on living!   I have photos of the two most recent rainbows over the river, including a rare winter rainbow in the middle of February, a Valentine’s message from Bruce!   And the other rainbow was so perfectly reflected over the river  this fall! Thanks to a little help from my friends, I can keep on living the good life!   I treasure my friendships more than ever!   If it weren’t for friends, I’d be a very lonely person!   I am so blessed that every friend I have checks in on me and comes up with ideas for things to do together.   The older I get the more I realize that experiences and the memories they generate are so much more precious than material goods.   If I had $1000 to spend on items I could purchase or spend the $1000 on a trip that w...

  January 21st would have been Bruce’s 81 st birthday.   And on January 2 nd , we would have celebrated our wedding anniversary.   So, the special dates that trigger sentimental thoughts have been coming hard and fast with the holidays just past.  That means that I’ve had an extra dose of missing my guy! What I have discovered since Bruce has been gone is that I barely recognized the daily joy in my relationship with Bruce when we were together.  Now I know that he surrounded me with a blanket of love and admiration every day we were together.   I miss that very much. Yes, my family and friends all do love and support me, but there is something special about the comfort you fall into with a long-time companion, if you are lucky, as I was.   So, I strive to cook up contentment every day.   I sprinkle in moments of joy in the present, seasoned with fond memories of the past.   One of the best ways to bring small pleasures into my life is wit...